Long-distance relationships need not be worse; the first three months after reunion can be the difficult part
Long-distance relationships were actually more stable while partners remained apart, partly because infrequent meetings encouraged idealization. Reunion was the difficult transition. About half the couples in follow-up became geographically close; the other half broke up while apart. Of those who reunited, one-third separated within 3 months.
What it takes
Travel costs and travel time, with fewer meetings than a local relationship. Sustaining long periods apart is difficult.
What you may gain
Two studies agreed that long-distance dating relationships were more stable than geographically close relationships during separation. Long-distance partners showed greater idealization on measures of idealistic distortion, romantic love, relationship memories and perceived agreement; less frequent meetings accompanied stronger idealization. That stability held only while partners remained apart. Once geographically close, former long-distance couples were more likely to break up. In the study tracking reunion, about half reached geographic reunion and the other half ended the relationship while apart. Among those reunited, one-third broke up within 3 months. Longer intervals between visits and stronger idealization during separation predicted less stability after reunion.
Context & considerations
These older studies concerned dating US university students, not married couples; do not apply their absolute percentages directly. Another study surveyed 717 long-distance and 425 geographically close participants and found little difference in relationship quality. Individual and relationship characteristics mattered more. Do not assume distance guarantees failure. Prepare for the first months together, when independence shrinks, knowledge of each other grows, and conflict and jealousy may increase.
Research & references
Stafford L, Merolla AJ, Castle JD (2006). When long-distance dating partners become geographically close. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(6), 901-919. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407506070472; Stafford L, Merolla AJ (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(1), 37-54. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407507072578; Dargie E et al. (2015). Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 41(2), 181-202. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2013.864367 (the additional study discussed below).