Separate family expectations, hopes for the relationship and expectations of support in old age
Other people’s wish for you to have a child can be one consideration, but the time and money come from your own life. Treat the expectation that a child will support you in old age as a separate assumption: it depends on another person’s willingness and financial circumstances twenty years from now. Write down the consequences of not having a child as well, then compare both sides.
What it takes
No financial cost, but it takes an honest conversation. The difficult part is saying things plainly rather than avoiding them.
What you may gain
As in Chapter 10, other people’s expectations can be acknowledged without assigning your costs to them. The costs remain yours. Future support from an adult child deserves a separate assessment because it assumes both the means and the willingness of another person two decades later.
Context & considerations
Put the consequences of having a child and of not having one on the same page. Considering both is more useful than treating either choice as the default.
Research & references
Practical experience; no direct research reference. See Chapter 10 for a similar framework.